So i haven’t actually posted something from myself in a while… I guess its a good thing… But a lot has changed. I’m not pining after that one guy anymore. I feel like I am actually living my life a little. I mean 23 seems to be a great year for me. the guy… well after a year he and i are just starting to become friends. and just friends. no confusing lines that have been crossed.No more longing looks from across the way. just a “I’m glad you are doing alright for yourself” i do miss him but i have moved on. and i am so proud of myself. He had texted me a few days ago… and I guess he was either drunk or feeling extremely lonely. and through our conversation i kept wondering “what the hell are you doing mike. do you remember what happened the last time this happened?” i had spent 2 years on and off with you and look at what happened. it has taken us a year just to even look at each other and for me to not miss “us”. And look at me now… I’m single (sort of) having fun. safely of course.
my hawaii…my hawaii i have known since i was 10. i have loved him since high school. i call him hawaii because he was the vacation away from it all. he helped me through a lot of things with the guy. yes he was my rebound. but funny thing was that i loved him first. he was my best friend and the guy who can make me smile. he makes me curious about things. he and i both confessed to each other that we are not really good at relationships. I told him that i didn’t want to be hidden. to keep secrets from friends. he agreed that we would see what would happen. and i am happy about that. we are just having fun.
this passed month. man things have changed…never thought i would get to number three so quickly. yes number three after wild weekend. what happened in vegas must stay in vegas. i did not cheat. because i am single… me and hawaii did have the talk and we both weren’t ready for it. this boy i have been attracted to before. but i knew nothing would come of it. he is a couple of years younger than me and im friends with his family. it was innocent fun that shouldn’t happen ever again.
yet again. i am single. uncommitted. i do hope someone will surprise me and change that. not soon. but someday.